Busy Day. Long List.

Have you got a long list of stuff to do today??

Here's my to-do list:

Make bed

Straighten up house

Wash major amounts of clothes (and dry, and fold, and put away)

Pick up kids' contacts and glasses

Serve breakfast and lunch, make dinner

Balance check-book

Teach school (Read aloud History, grade Math, etc.)

Plan meal ministry for tomorrow night and pick up necessary items

Put remaining Christmas decorations in the attic

Drop off and pick up one son at work

AWANA tonight

How much do you have to do today?

Mamas can only do so much so I say take it one thing at a time.  

• Make up your bed and get dressed for the day.  (Preaching to myself here.)
• Start with the most important thing on your list.  When that is done put a big check-mark on it and proceed to the next thing on the list.
• Reward your hard work with a treat when you have accomplished several things.
• Play some background music and smile.

What's your best piece of advice for a busy day and long list??

So far today our little eight year old gal has drawn horse pictures, read in her horse book, looked up some information on horses in another book, and watched a horse movie.  She's horse crazy right now.  

It's just like God to bless us with a neighbor who teaches riding lessons and owns several horses.  Our sweet friend has offered to take our girl riding this very week.  I'm not sure she will sleep until it happens.  She is talking incessantly about it.

Isn't it fun, getting into what your kids are into?

We have an older boy saving up for a motorcycle.  He looks at pictures of Kawasaki Ninjas and checks his bank account regularly.  This, although not as easy for me to get into, is his thing.

Some of our other boys are into soccer.  WAY into soccer.  I'm a soccer mom, and I love it.  One of our boys has been taken out of playing soccer by his doctor.  Because of a brain injury he is no longer allowed to participate in contact sports.  Our pastors have promised to take him golfing.  Maybe golf will become his new thing.  

One of my favorite things about being a mom is being a part of what our kids are doing.  For a lot of years I was a mama to only boys, (twelve years to be exact).  I got into baseball and football and Star Wars and Rescue Heroes and a whole lot of other boy toys.  I learned to love camping, spent all day Saturdays at the ball field, and took field trips to fire stations and dinosaur exhibits.

Now, in my forties, I'm getting to raise little girls.  We have tea parties and play dolls.  My girls play princesses every single day and have a pretend house where they are both mommies.  Fun stuff!  

I've so enjoyed the privilege of being a mom.  People often ask me which are easier, boys or girls.  They ask which I like raising better.  I could never choose!  Our boys are rough and tumble and our girls are sugary sweet.  I love both.  I love the way the boys compete and show off and fiercely protect their sisters and me.  I love the way the girls help me with our home, trying to do everything I do, and their sweet little hearts always making or drawing something for someone.  It is a dream come true to be a mother of this big brood. 

What are your kids loving these days?  May I encourage you to get into that kid stuff with them?  Whatever it is, learn to love it.  I have a dear friend who went to her first anime convention this past spring.  She wouldn't have picked that interest up on her own but that's her son's hobby.  

Get involved in your kids dreams.  Play with them.  Enjoy their hobbies and teach them about yours.  You are sure to win their hearts!  When what's important to them becomes important to you, they know how important they are.  

Keep up the good work, Mama!

Motherhood is Hard - Press On with Eternal Perspective

Today I sat down with my laptop and pulled up my blog for the first time in almost a week.  I have so many things I'd like to write about but such little time.  I noticed when I logged in I had 30 posts in my drafts.  I was surprised to find 30 different posts started, but never published.  That's a lot!  I saw this one from a year ago and decided to click on it and see what it was all about.  It seemed fitting to publish today. Apparently I was preaching to myself and right now I could use a little bit of that.  


Motherhood is hard.  Anyone who tells you differently is wrong.  And really, who would tell you that?

Motherhood is a lot of work, super rewarding, but a lot of work.

I wouldn't trade being a mom for anything in the world.  Ever.  Even on the hardest days.

Right now my house is a total disaster and there are dishes in my sink.  I just changed a stinky diaper.  My laundry pile is high.  My to-be-folded pile is higher.  And there are dozens of items waiting to be ironed.  I've been up since 6:30 a.m. yet I'm still in my pajamas.  I've already seen two boys out the door to work, loaded up one sick boy with ibuprofen and reminded a whiner not to whine...numerous times.  Yesterday we conquered three appointments (two being to the dentist...no cavities!).  Today we must reload our food supply as it is empty again and make a couple more appointments.  Sunday at church I left the service just in time for my toddler to puke outside the church doors.  I let the kids eat pizza again last night and I'm feeling guilty about that.  I have not one clean bathroom.  In the last week we've visited the pediatrician, eye doctor, and dentist.  We've managed to work in some school and a field trip.  We are practicing music, practicing kindness, and I am currently practicing not yelling (see THIS).

Motherhood is hard.  Did I already say that?

If you work each day taking care of your children and your husband and your family you will be tired, and sometimes you might be overwhelmed.  When you're working every day in the trenches of motherhood you may think you are not making a difference for eternity but YOU ARE.  Rocking babies, folding the laundry, teaching children to read and putting dinner on the table is important work and don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

A while back I received a series of anonymous comments full of false accusations and lots of insults.  My husband and I were accused of having too many children and having them too young (we were 23 and 24 when we had our first child by the way).  Sometimes the comments that have been written to me get down in my heart and hurt my soul.  I have to go to God in prayer on the hard days and ask Him to help my heart.  I have to search the scriptures for truth when the voices of the naysayers are pouring into my inbox and my mind.  Can I just take a moment and encourage you to do the same?  When things get you down and your mind gets muddled up - go to God, and to His word.  His word is truth.

I'm an imperfect mother.  I'm trying really hard but I make a lot of mistakes.  Here's what I know:  When I mess up I can ask for forgiveness.  My mistakes offer me an opportunity to tell my kids of God's forgiveness and  point them to Jesus.  We are a family full of sinners and we all know it.  We live and grow by God's grace.  Thank you, Lord!

If you are overwhelmed, as I am sometimes, stop and pray.  Know that patiently teaching your children will yield far better results than a clean house.  When other voices come in telling you something contrary to the word of God, go back to the bible.  Children are a gift from God.  The fruit of the womb is a REWARD.  When you feel like you just can't get mothering right, remember that God gave your children to you and He will supply all that you need to be their mother.  Don't give up.  Don't throw in the towel.  Each day you can plant seeds for eternity.  Keep loving and forgiving and teaching and praying.  Some days will be hard, really hard.  Ask God for the help you need.  A mother's love and hard work are invaluable in the life of a child. Point your children to Jesus.  The laundry and the cleaning and the cooking and the errands have to be done, but don't lose sight of your real purpose.  Glorify God by loving your children and shaping their hearts for eternity.

Motherhood is hard, but so is anything worth doing right.  Press on with eternal perspective.

The Lord Your God Is With You Wherever You Go

I haven't been able to make it to my blog much this week.  I've been busy with soccer games, cooking supper, grocery getting, teaching, writing notes, laundry, reading aloud, child training, bed making, bill paying, phone calls, mopping floors, dusting furniture, folding clothes, picking up, fixing breakfast, giving baths, cutting coupons, making lunches, writing lists, planning school, grading work, cleaning glass, changing beds, setting schedules, dentist appointments, haircuts, arts and crafts, fixing boo-boos, running errands, braiding hair, sorting socks, hanging up clean shirts, waking kids and putting kids to bed, fractions, flashcards, posters, washing dishes, serving food, controlling clutter, having company, balancing accounts, making calls, talking with teens, shopping, loading up the crock-pot, ironing, organizing, making plans, straightening rooms, cleaning out cabinets, scrubbing toilets, baking bread, solving problems, picking out paint colors, and playing at the park.

I wish I could tell you I've done every one of those things with a smile on my face and a meek and gentle spirit, but that would be a lie.  There have been times of success and times of failure.  I've been nice and I've been not so nice - such is the way of this mom.  Each day I try harder to do better than the day before, ask forgiveness, and pray a little more!  

So, how about you??  What have you been doing this week?  I love this quote, "The most important work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home".  So true, mamas!  Don't give up.  Keep doing the hard things.  You will reap what you sow!

A Perfect Mother

A perfect mother always serves a healthy low fat meal made up of organic foods.
A good mother, on occasion, picks up fast food but makes sure to order the apples instead of fries.

A perfect mother speaks in a pleasant and sweet voice every time she opens her mouth.
A good mother will talk to her children through her teeth at least once.

A perfect mother makes no mistakes.
A good mother learns from her mistakes.

A perfect mother has plenty of money in her purse, and in her bank account.
A good mother uses financial tight spots to teach her children about frugality.

A perfect mother keeps an immaculate home which includes floors you can eat off of.
A good mother keeps her home tidy and organized, most of the time.

A perfect mother looks amazing any time of day.
A good mother has been known to wear sweat pants as she sits in the floor to work puzzles with the kids.

A perfect mother bakes from scratch.
A good mother will buy a cake mix or slice-n-bake cookies once in a while.

A perfect mother keeps the laundry under control and does not allow clothes to pile up in baskets.
A good mother makes sure all the important things (underwear and soccer uniforms) are clean.

A perfect mother does nothing to embarrass her children, ever.
A good mother will embarrass her children.

A perfect mother greets each morning with a smile and needs no assistance in maintaining her chipper attitude.
A good mother admits her dependence on coffee and is thankful it's not worse.

A perfect mother never allows her children out of the house in wrinkled clothing.
A good mother's children go out wrinkled, but never without a kiss and a hug.

A perfect mother knows the right thing to do in difficult situations.
A good mother spends time praying over difficult situations.

A perfect mother does not take naps.
A good mother takes a nap when needed for her family's protection.

A perfect mother has the answer to every question.
A good mother looks up information for questions she can't answer.

A perfect mother considers being early - on time, on time - late, and late -  unacceptable.
A good mother is happy to arrive at her destination with all of her children present and accounted for.

A perfect mother always says and does the right thing.
A good mother messes up and completely blows it at times.

A perfect mother puts her children to bed on time every single night.
A good mother lets her children stay up too late occasionally.

A perfect mother is always smiling, always happy, never flustered, never angry.
A good mother pulls herself back together after she looses it.

A perfect mother gets up very early to shower and dress before waking her children.
A good mother showers quickly while children incessantly knock on the door asking questions, but she remains patient and kind.

A perfect mother will not allow her children to get involved in too many extra-curricular activities.
A good mother has the courage to pull her children out of a situation that is less than best.

A perfect mother never raises her voice to scream and yell at her children.
A good mother, after yelling, goes to her children and apologizes and tries not to do it again.

A perfect mother teaches her children everything they will ever need to know.
A good mother teaches her children to the best of her ability, and trusts.

A perfect mother is perfect.
A good mother rests in God's grace.


There is no way to be a perfect mom, but there are a thousand ways to be a good one!

Note to Self

I can remember when our first born was just a baby, figuring up in my head exactly what year he would graduate high school.  While he sat drooling on my lap, I counted up the years - just for fun.  What a long way off 2013 seemed.  It even sounded funny.  All of my life I had said "19-something", so just the sound of "2013" was a bit unusual.  Would we say two thousand thirteen?, or would we say twenty thirteen?  No matter, it was a long way off...so I thought.

Here we are now, 2013.  Wow, that took no-time.  That chubby baby boy once seated on my lap is now a very lean young man.  I'm spouting out every cliche I've ever heard -  "Where did the time go?", "My, they do grow up fast!"  "They sure don't stay little very long".

I was thinking back, picturing myself - 24 years old holding my little dream come true.  I wondered what I would say to that self if I could go back in time and talk to her.  I decided to write her a letter.  I've chosen to let you read it.

Dear Young Self,

That little baby sitting on your lap is going to grow up very, very fast.  I know, I know, you've been told already but I am going to tell you again.  HE IS GOING TO GROW UP VERY FAST!

Be sure to take pleasure in the everyday moments with him.  Don't be in a hurry...ever!  Enjoy rocking him to sleep and giving him baths, read an extra bedtime story, and play with him as much as you possibly can.  Don't worry so much about the housework.  When he asks you to throw the ball with him, do it!

When you have to discipline him, please don't be angry.  If you are mad, walk away and come back to him later.  He's a little sinner just like you are.  He needs your gentle correction.  Anger won't help him one bit.

Don't concern yourself with what others think.  Teach him to read and write, to add and subtract, but most importantly teach him Christian character.  Always remember - character before curriculum.  Your future daughter in law probably won't thank you for teaching him Trig or Calculus, but she will likely thank you for teaching him Christian character.  He is going to learn everything he needs to and a whole lot more.  He's learning every single minute, soaking up like a sponge.  Decide right now to ignore the nay sayers.  You can do this!

Pray for this boy every morning and every night.  Surround yourself with people who are positive and encouraging and who are crazy about your little man.  Don't be afraid to let people go if necessary.  You don't have time to waste trying to convince others to act and do as they should.

You are his first love.  Cherish the flowers he picks for you, even when they're weeds.  Save his artwork and all the little notes he writes to you.  You are going to want to look at them again one day.  Build him up in his attempts.  A boy's relationship to his mother will make him or break him as a man.  If you believe he can do anything, he will believe he can do anything.

Many people will seek to persuade you to dread his teenage years.  There is nothing to fear.  Those years will be wonderful if you have his heart.  Teen rebellion is not the norm, don't believe the one who tells you it is.  I've got good news - if you love him the right way now, you are going to enjoy him at each and every stage.

The next 18 years are going to be a wild ride.  Hold on tight.  Your heart will be walking around outside your body and your life will be moving at record speed.  Aim for a life with no regrets.  When that baby boy becomes a man you will want to know you did your very best.  Shelter him, educate him, and train him with excellence.  In a few short years your job will be finished and you will reap what you sow.

Oh, and one more thing.  Get every kiss out of those chubby cheeks you possibly can.  It may be hard to believe but very soon his face will be thin and smooches may be frowned upon.

Yours Truly,

Your Older Self

Bad Advice - Part Two

Last fall I wrote a post titled, "Bad Advice".  This post caused quite a stir and resulted in two angry anonymous comments showing up in my inbox.  I've looked back at that post to see what it was that caused the ruffling of feathers and I have not been able to come to any firm conclusions.  I now know my reading audience is larger than I expected, and that's a good thing!  But, I don't know what it was about my post that set off such anger, especially the type of anger where one feels they must hide their identity.  I'm a very honest person, sometimes to a fault.  I suppose I should have more carefully written out my thoughts, or my editor (my husband) should have done more in the way of editing, but I can promise you nothing I said in that post was any less than 100 percent true.  It is sad but true, as a young wife and mother I received a lot of bad advice and I listened to the wrong voices.

Some of that "bad advice" is still popular in churches today.  I over-hear young mothers on the receiving end all the time.  I want to give my own advice (again) but this time I will not give any personal examples from my own years as a new wife and mama.  I do not want to start a ruckus.  LOL!  I don't stop strangers on the street to offer them my advice, nor do I interrupt the conversations I often over-hear where bad advice is being handed out.  I do, however, offer my advice here on my blog.  I'm assuming if you are reading my blog you like to see what I have to say.

Bad Advice - 
Young mothers should do more in the church.  They should be the ones to work in the nursery since they are the ones putting babies in there.

My Advice - 
I heard this one a lot when I was a new mother.  (OOPS!  There I go, sharing a personal example.  Forgive me.)
Young mothers should place priority on their relationships with God, their husbands, their children, and their homes.  Church work is wonderful but not if you are stressed out and unable to fulfill your God-given responsibilities.  Carefully pray about your role in ministries outside your home.  Hear me (please) when I say - a mother of children has a primary ministry and that is in her HOME.  
Nothing wrong with leading a class or helping in the church kitchen but do not take on things you were not called to do.  God will call you to your specific place of ministry.  Pay no attention to guilt trips.  

Bad Advice - 
Tell your husband how it's going to be.

My Advice - 
Ephesians 5:22  Wives be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Obey your husband.  Submit.  (ooh I said those hated words!)  Ask your husband his opinion and show him respect.  Follow his leadership of your family.  After your relationship with God your most important relationship is with your husband.  Cool advice?  Maybe not, but I promise you will be glad you did!  

Bad Advice - 
Leave your child screaming and go.  Just shut the door and keep walking.  Don't look back. They will be fine.  

My Advice - 
Perhaps, not.  Help your child adjust to a situation by doing what your mama heart leads you to do.  Yes, there are some who will look down over their glasses to glare at you and will try to make you feel as if you don't know what you are doing, but you do.  PRAY!  There is nothing too small to pray about.  Is this best for your child?  Do you trust the volunteers?  PLEASE HEAR THIS - That baby will not be a baby for very long.  You will have MANY YEARS in the future to attend the class or service of your choosing.  

Bad Advice - 
Use some kind of birth control and stop having so many children.  AKA -  "Don't you know what's causing that?"

My Advice - 
Psalm 127:3  Behold, children are a gift of the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward.  Have children at the rate the Lord gives them to you.  He will provide.  His ways are FAR better than ours.  YOU CAN TRUST HIM!

Bad Advice - 
Expose your children to the "real world".  They need to learn what the real world is like.  They are going to be exposed to it one day.  You can't shelter them forever.

My Advice - 
Shelter your children.  Keep them innocent of what is evil.  You will not need to shelter them forever, just make sure you do it properly while they are young.  A surgeon is not in med-school forever, just until he has had the proper training.  AFTER his training, THEN he will be turned loose in the operating room.  

Believe it or not, I do not want you to take my advice just because I offered it.  First, pray and search the scriptures.  Discuss with your husband and follow his lead.  I don't know everything, but I know the One who does and I desire to point you to Him!  Luke 8:39  "Return to your house and describe what great things God has done for you."

What To Do When You Blow It

When you blow up or blow it, here's what you must do.

Pray.

Pray, confess your sin to God and ask for forgiveness.  *1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.*  

Talk to your child.

Go to your child and tell him you are sorry.  Don't make excuses for sin.  Don't put the blame on him.  Admit your mistake and ask him to forgive you.  

Deal with the issue in a constructive manner.

When you have given yourself enough time to calm down and put your thoughts together, sit with your child and discuss the matter and if necessary give consequences.  Explain to your child that although you shouldn't have acted in that way, you must still enforce consequences.  Some children, seeing that you are sorry for blowing it, may think that they are off the hook.  Not so.  If there was disobedience on the part of the child consequences must be handed out.  Just make sure you are gentle and kind and explain calmly what those consequences are.


Preventing blow-ups in the future.

Begin each day in prayer and pray throughout the day.

Ask God for the grace you need to be a gentle mom.

Make sure you are getting enough rest.

Eat right.  (Low blood sugar always leads to a grouchy mom.)

Memorize scripture.  (Hide God's word in your heart that you might not sin.)

Stay in the Word.  Soak it up every chance you get.

Recognize situations that will lead to blow ups and do what you can to avoid them.

Don't let things build up until there is an explosion.  Deal with sin the first time it rears it's ugly head (in you and in your child).

Remember that anger is only one letter different than danger.  Anger is most damaging to your relationships with your children.  Satan seeks to destroy family relationships and anger is one of his best tools.

Give up the guilt.  If you've asked God to forgive you and you repented of your sin, move forward.  Satan loves to heap the guilt on us moms.  We are forgiven and we must remember that.  There are no perfect mothers!  All mothers make mistakes.  Beating yourself up with guilt only weighs you down.  It's a new day.  Make it the best it can be.