Avoiding Burnout - Do Less

The weekend is here already!  I think I'm glad.  I've had a rough week this week.  Rougher than rough, actually.  I'm pretty beaten down.  My honey and I have decided to pack up our half dozen youngins and head out of town for a couple of days.  We are happy to be getting away for a little rest and relaxation and play time.  I hope you've got something fun planned with your family this weekend too.  Let's plan to meet back here next week refreshed, okay?

I'm still writing this little series on how to avoid that overwhelmed, burned out, worn out, frazzled feeling.  Tonight I'm going to jot down a couple more ideas.  I hope something I write helps you.  If it matters, I've been pretty worn out and frazzled since I started writing this series so this stuff is fresh!  

1. Do less and do it well.  I've learned (and am still re-learning on occasion) that is better for me to do only a few things and do them well rather than try to take on the world.  In order to do well with the home education of my children I can't have a whole bunch of other irons in the fire.  My husband needs my help and that is my primary responsibility.  He needs his clothes ready for work, and his meals prepared, and his children cared for and educated - that is my most important job and I must do that well.  Aside from that job I can work in my church, or community, or some other ministry but I must not take on too much.  There are some questions we moms must ask ourselves when considering taking something on - which is better, quantity or quality?  Do I desire to please God or man?  People pleasing can get to any of us but as wives and mothers it is important to make sure we have our priorities in God's order.  Concentrate on doing a couple of things really well and when you have to say no - do it.  Sometimes you simply say, no for now.
2. Give careful consideration to what you allow your children to be involved in.  Too many activities can swallow up all of your family time and make everyone stressed.  Make wise choices on what your kiddos can do outside of the home.  When our children were younger (and there were fewer of them) we had a rule that each child could only participate in one extra thing.  Over the years we have changed that a little because even when each child only participates in one thing that is six extra curricular activities!  We've come up with different arrangements over the years to make it work.  There's a way to balance, you just have to figure it out for your family.  Just remember, too many activities usually = tears ( yours, theirs, or both).  We've done some crazy stuff and have learned plenty from our dumb mistakes.  Don't try to do too much extra curricular stuff with the kids.  They really are happy digging in the dirt.  

One more thing before I let you go -  I must show you this!  See how a family of 11 does an incredible job organizing their 1100 square foot home.  Prepare to be amazed!

Have a cozy weekend!

Avoiding Burnout - Give Thanks

I'm just guessing that if this blog is of interest to you then we might be somewhat similar, probably not identical, but alike enough to understand each other.  If we understand each other as I think we do, then you most likely know what I mean when I say sometimes there is just no time to blog.  There might be a million thoughts rolling around in this old brain of mine but no good time to sit down and tap them out on my keyboard.  That's where I've been lately.  There are just a lot of days I can't make it to this place where I write (and I'm betting you get that).

The series I planned to write on how to avoid feeling burned out, overwhelmed, frazzled and worn out was originally planned as a one week series but has spilled over into a couple.  I've shared only two things with you so far - spending time with God and spending time with friends.  Today I want to talk to you about another...

Being Thankful

1 Chronicles 16:8 - 11

Oh give thanks to the Lord, call upon His name; make known His deeds among the peoples.  Sing to Him, sing praises to Him; Speak of all His wonders.  Glory in His holy name; Let the heart of those who seek the Lord be glad.  Seek the Lord and His strength; Seek His face continually.  

When life is pressing down - be thankful.
When the laundry piles up, the to-do list is long and you really need a nap - be thankful.
When you think you should do more, have more, or be more - be thankful.

There is always, always, always something to be thankful for!

Ephesians 5:20  Always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

It's so easy to fall into a trap of feeling overwhelmed or worn-out.  After all, the work of a mother is hard work.  If you have found it to be easy you might be doing it wrong.  But no matter how you feel there is so much to be thankful for.  Dirty dishes to wash mean you have food to eat.  Dirty clothes mean your family isn't naked (or they haven't been recently).  Dirty kids usually means fun has been had.

When I'm feeling burned out and overwhelmed if I stop and take just a few minutes to pray and reflect on all I have to be thankful for my mind and heart are quickly re-focused.  When the work of homeschooling takes it's toll and I'm tempted to throw in the towel I only have to pause for a moment to give thanks to God for the privilege of homeschooling our children.  Giving thanks changes your perspective quickly!  Things don't have to peachy all the time either.  Try giving thanks to God for that really hard situation you are going through.  It might be painful, or confusing, or unfair as we see it, but give thanks to God for what He is going to do by His grace and for His glory in and through your circumstance.  We can't always know why things happen as they do but we can know the character of God and we can always trust Him!

Do you think God only hears the prayers that are well thought out and articulately spoken?  No!  God hears the whispered prayers of the tired mom and the frantic prayers of the stressed out mom.  He knows our every thought.  He knows our anxiety and He asks us to give it to Him.

Decide for yourself today that you are going to spend more of your heart energy being thankful.  It will change everything.  I know some of you are going through really difficult circumstances.  I'm not trying to make light of that.  Being thankful for what is all around you while you are going through hard times helps more than you can imagine.

Is it possible to exchange those things that burden us for thankful thoughts?  I believe it is!

1 Thessalonians 5:18  In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Avoiding Burnout - Time with Friends

Hey, Howdy, Hey!

I didn't think it would be Thursday before I made it back here.  Where did the week go?  Do the days run away from you as fast as they do me?

We've had a fun-filled week of "s" words...school, soccer, and shopping!  Have you ever been to IKEA?  I had not until Tuesday.  OH.MY!  What a great place!  The prices are unbelievably good and the size of the place is mammoth.  If you get near an IKEA make certain you stop in.  You are sure to find some good stuff.

The best part of the trip wasn't the treasures we found though.  It wasn't the chalkboard (that I love) or the great chair I bought, or even the yummy cinnamon rolls.  It was the time spent with friends.  It was the laughing and sharing that went on.  It was such a blessing to spend the day with friends!

Which brings me to my next post in the How to Avoid Feeling Worn-out, Frazzled, Burned-out, and Overwhelmed series.

One important thing we can do as women to avoid feeling burned out is spend time with other women.  It's easy to get stuck in a hole of alone-ness and to believe you have no time for a break.  I know, I've been there.  I've made it no secret that I have suffered from periods of depression.  Our last move (a forced relocation for my husband's job) was exceptionally difficult.  We left behind some of the best friends we've ever had, a great church, neighborhood, and a life we loved.  The adjustment to our new city was extremely rough.  We were not quick to make friends or find a church and had almost no support from our extended family.  I don't think most of our family members even comprehend what it is like to up-root your life and start all over again.  Finding doctors and grocery stores and post offices is the easiest of the chores.  The hard part is beginning new relationships.  It is lonely and overwhelming.  I've spent the majority of the time I've been in our current city without many friends.  It has only fueled the feelings of being burned out and overwhelmed.

Over time God brought some women into my life and it has made such a huge difference in how I feel.  We women folk are designed for relationship.  Often times relationships mean way more to us than they do our husbands.  Men most of the time aren't as needful of friendships, but for women, it can make all the difference.  I would encourage you if you are feeling overwhelmed as a mom to talk to another mom.  Go out for a cup of coffee and spend some time sharing with one another.  If you are at home with your children all day, every day, and you aren't really getting out at all I would suggest changing that.  Of course, your first and most important obligation is to your family.  Your role as help-meet to your husband and caring mother to your children comes before anything else.  I've seen cases where mamas have taken their "down-time" to the extreme and have become negligent of their duties.  I've seen a severe case of that actually where grand-parents literally took over raising the kids so the mother could travel to the beach, hang out at bars, and do whatever she chose.  THAT is not what I am talking about.  I'm suggesting once in a while we step away from our routine and spend some time with some other women doing something enjoyable.  Join a bible study, or take an art class, go shopping, or out for coffee - the possibilities are endless.  I really enjoy putting the little ones in strollers and just walking (and talking) around the neighborhood or at a local park.  Taking a little time periodically to get out of the house and spend time with friends will do you a world of good and will actually be good for your family as well.  You will enjoy the change of scenery and time spent sharing with friends and will be ready to return to your role as wife and mother refreshed and renewed.  Fighting off the burned out overwhelmed feeling begins with relationship with God and is helped by relationship with other women.  Try it and see!

Avoiding Burnout - Time with God

Hi!  Happy Monday!

How was your weekend?  Ours was a crazy mix of good and bad, wonderful and hard.  We had some great times and some not-so-great.  We headed to Sweetwater Tennessee for an all day soccer tournament on Saturday and stopped off at Sweetwater Valley Farm.  If you are ever near Sweetwater you must stop there.  They make the best cheese and it is such a beautiful place to visit.  While I was there I learned about cheese curds and we will be frying some up this week for a special treat!  Yum!  Oh yeah, my husband and one of our sons sampled Elk salami.  Weird.

By the way, they loved it.

We did some shopping Friday afternoon and this is where our two year old decided to take a nap.  Yep.  Make yourself at home at The Home Depot.

Lastly, I snapped this picture at dinner.  She doesn't like him at all.

I mentioned in my last post how easily I can become overwhelmed and frazzled and worn out.  I planned a series for this week on what you ( I ) can do when we feel this way.  Funny thing is, this past weekend and this morning have given me plenty of material!  I'm going to post one thing each day this week that will help us to avoid being frazzled, overwhelmed, stressed out and burned out.

The single most important thing you can do is spend time alone with God.  This doesn't have to come in a specific form following a series of specific steps.  Time alone with God is just your special time - you talk to Him, you cast your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.   When you worship the Holy God of the universe - suddenly your priorities are placed in proper order.  In those moments we are reminded what really matters and what doesn't!  The peace and comfort can't be beat.  I love my time alone with God and HE changes my entire day.  He helps my heart.  He enables me to be a better wife and mother.

Soooo... if this time is so special and so wonderful why would I ever miss out on it?  Here's the thing, there's a little lie (I believe straight from Satan) that says, "You have too much to do.  You can't slow down.  There's too much that needs to be done and you are already behind!  There's no time for praying and reading the bible today.  That will have to wait until another time when you aren't so busy.  Now, go go go!"  

Total lie.

I have believed that lie many, many times.  I've tried to run my life my way and get back to God when I had a little more room in my schedule.  How stupid is that thinking?!!  I've actually told myself I'm just going to buckle down, get busy, and work.  There are places to be and people to feed and rooms to clean and there's a mountain of laundry to do.  The problem with that thinking is this...when things are out of order in our lives, and when things are out of order in our hearts it is almost impossible to flee that overwhelmed feeling.  There is no peace in putting God off.  I've been through this struggle.  Very recently I have struggled.  I was trying to be everything to everybody.  It was like trying to run a race without ever eating any carbs.  I was miserable and I was making everyone around me miserable.  I've struggled in the past and I will likely struggle again.  Why?  Because Satan knows how important our intimate relationship with God is so he will do anything he can to stop it from growing.  He very often succeeds in keeping busy wives and mamas from taking time to worship, pray, read, meditate, or spend any time at all with the Lord Jesus.

 I'm here to tell you that the #1 way you can avoid burnout, feeling overwhelmed and frazzled, is to spend time alone with God each and every day.  You will grow to love this time.  The Lord Jesus is your power source for being the woman you want to be.  

You want to be loving?  Love comes from the Father.

You want to be kind?  Kindness comes from Him!

You want peace in your life?  Seek Him first and ask Him for the peace only He can give.

You have a lot to do?  Hard decisions to make?  He will walk with you every step of the way.

Your house is a wreck, your children are bickering and you still haven't had a shower?  Some time with Him will set things right in your heart and He will give the grace to take each step, one at a time.

You cannot pour sweetness into your family if you are not being filled up yourself.  We really can do nothing apart from Him so why do we try?

Feeling burned out?  Don't give up your time with God!  It will only make things worse.