I've become someone I never thought I would be...a yeller...old
I've decided I'm not going to yell at my kids anymore and I'm stating it here in the blogosphere for the world to know.
I feel I must issue myself a challenge, so here it is:
I'm challenging myself to 365 days of no yelling.
Can I do it?
For many, many years I never, ever raised my voice with my children. I was pretty proud of that too. My friends all talked about what a patient mommy I was and I thought I had it all together. But then slowly I started becoming someone I didn't think I would ever be. I started getting loud. I started getting frustrated and angry more and more, and I started yelling. And once you get in that horrible habit it's hard to break out.
I could (but I won't) blame my yelling on all kinds of things... like stress, and anxiety, low blood sugar, and financial strain, depression, hormonal changes, moving, and ...teenage boys. I've never yelled at my young children really, it seems my yelling problem didn't rear it's ugly head until my boys reached the teen years. I don't ever yell at the little ones, but I have YELLED at my teenagers, and like it says at the start of this post...if I'm yelling I'm not parenting, I'm sinning. I mean, uh, hello...teenagers are going to make some bad choices, and mess up, and not take their schoolwork seriously sometimes. Yelling is not the way to handle these issues. I know it and you know it. Knowing it is one thing...
I will need prayer. I'm going to be praying, and asking my husband to pray for me also, and my kids too!
I will need to watch what I eat and pay attention to how much sleep I'm getting.
I will have to work on keeping things in perspective.
I will need to rely on the Lord for strength in times of weakness.
I may need to ask for some help.
I might have to go into my closet and yell at my clothes once or twice. You know that gum people chew when they are trying to quit smoking? Sort of like that. I'm going to try to quit yelling ~cold turkey~ but come on, let's be real...I could need a piece of gum once in a while.
So here's where it starts...
I've been mean and I've been ugly. I've said bad words and my face has been red. I've been loud, really loud. It's impossible to have a cozy home with a mad mama. So...NO MORE.
Today, June 8, 2013 begins my 365 days of no yelling. Beginning today I will no longer be yelling at my kids (or husband for that matter). NO MORE YELLING.
I want our home to be a warm and cozy and happy place and that means no more yelling.
I hate yelling, I listened to it too much growing up. I wish I could say I would take on this challenge, but I would fail. I can say something nice and calm a hundred times over and it is not until I resort to a yell that I am listened to. :(
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean but I think the kids get in a habit of not listening until you yell. I hate yelling and it's time I stop it. Come on...take on the challenge with me! :) I would love to have other mamas doing it with me. The kids are really happy that I'm challenging myself in this way and they are all eager to see if I can do it.
DeleteJust remember, my sweet sis, hold yourself to a standard of grace, not perfection. Take time to be kind to you. Journal - sometimes its internal issues that show up in external behaviors. Take breaks. Call your sister. Eat chocolate. Be kind to my Stephy.
ReplyDeleteOh, and check out this new blog by a friend of mine: www.compostingtheheart.com She has read yours:) She definitely likes to keep it real too. Very encouraging to me. See what you think. Love you, my passionately family loving sis.
You are 100 percent right when you say internal issues show up in external behaviors. One of the primary reasons I wanted to work on not yelling is because I realized when I would yell at the kids it wasn't what they had done that was causing me to yell it was something else bothering me. One of the last times I yelled at one of the older boys I had a house guest whose behavior was REALLY bothering me. I took my frustration out on the boys in the form of yelling when I should have just confronted the house guest. I am NOT going to be that way. My sweet kids and husband deserve better. I'm praying and working on it and so far things are going very well. Olivia is really good at reminding me. :)
DeleteHello! You are a courageous woman to take this on in cyberspace. I can soooo relate to what you are writing. So much so, that future blogposts are brewing on this very topic, once I sort it out some more.
ReplyDeleteI have 8 kids and I, too, didn't yell. Until....well, it's a long story.
Thanks for visiting my blog. I have actually been by here through a link on fb before and poked around. And you're sister to my amazing friend Aaron, so of course I will be back.
I am praying for you, Dear One, and am in agreement with Aaron that you be kind to yourself and your beautiful heart. Take a hefty dose of Romans 8 along with those deep breaths.
Thank you, Julie! I just read Romans 8. :) Such a refreshing reminder.
DeleteHi, Stephanie. I'll join you in your challenge. This is something I've prayed about for a long time, and while I'm not who I was, I'm not who I'm supposed to be either. So I'll pray for you, and you pray for me!
ReplyDeleteRamona D.
Thank you, Ramona. I will certainly pray for you! I'm thrilled to know you are joining in the challenge with me.
ReplyDelete