I figured it out.
I'm in survival mode.
You know the mode you go into when there's more for you to do than you could possibly get done, when there are a lot of people depending on you for lots of different things, when emotional pain grips your heart and tries to take over, when you are overwhelmed, under-nourished, and sleep deprived? That's the one.
I wonder if you are here (or ever have been) too.
I wonder if you are here (or ever have been) too.
It's not unusual for moms to go through difficult times. Who said everything would always be peachy?? That nonsense about "God won't put more on you than you can handle" - not true. All of life is way more than we can handle. We need Him and His grace! How would we recognize our own depravity if we "handled" life just fine on our own?
My husband has this little acronym he brought home from work and uses often. It has become a huge help to me. He's been saying it for a while (I think it's on his desk somewhere) but it has proven to be very helpful to me recently. Maybe it will help you as well.
W.I.N. - What's important now.
Have I shared this with you before? If so, it means more to me now than it ever has.
Allow me to explain...
You can't do everything. You can't do a million things and do them all well. Right now if you are feeling like things are spiraling out of control, stop and determine what is important and focus only on that. Can you do it? {Yes!}
I've had to determine the most important things and put my focus on them. I've had to let some other things go for a little while. This is not easy for me but it is what had to be done. There is a relationship that is painful and drags me down. I finally had to let it go. There were a jillion household projects I wanted to accomplish. I had to put them aside for now. There were a lot of things vying for my attention and I had to decide what's important now and take care of it. You won't be able to get things under control until you decide what's important right now and focus on that.
If you are dealing with a child's sinful behavior and trying to homeschool - quit the homeschooling, work on the behavior, then resume teaching. What's important now? Math or the child's heart? Learning to spell or learning to obey? W.I.N.
If you have run yourself completely out of energy and you are experiencing health issues - stop everything, get yourself healthy, then add back the important things one at a time. (Notice I said important things!) What's important now? Right now?
If your husband is feeling neglected fix that right away. If you're yelling at your children - stop and re-focus. What's important now? Clean windows or a happy marriage? Gourmet meals or children eating grilled cheese sandwiches knowing they are loved - a lot!
I hope this is helping you because the WIN idea has really helped me.
Knowing what's most important right now and focusing on that has saved me from almost losing my sanity.
Trim away the extra, let go of some perfectionism, re-write the to-do list, simplify, cancel, let go, whatever you have to do, and focus on what's important now.
Start here:
(1) Your relationship with God - spiritual and emotional health.
(2) Your husband
(3) Your children
Excellent points. And I love the WIN acronym. I'm hopefully going to remember that one!
ReplyDeleteVery helpful words of wisdom.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Thanks for the advice.
ReplyDeleteMissing your blog posts. Hope you & your family are doing well. God bless, Jenny C.
ReplyDelete