I told you a while back I would give an update on the No More Yelling Challenge. My update might surprise you (or not).
Here it is: I have really good days and then there are really bad ones. Every time I slip up I feel super discouraged. The same things get me every time. There. That's it. Not what I had hoped to type but I'm not giving up.
I think I assumed once I decided to do this I would just do it. I felt that once I decided not to yell anymore I wouldn't. It's been so much harder than that.
If there is anything positive I can say it's that I'm learning. Even in times of complete failure the Lord is teaching me, and for that I'm very thankful. For instance, I now realize how most of the time when I'm yelling I've lost my perspective. I'm getting upset about things that don't have eternal value. I let the worries or cares of life become bigger than they should be. Fear (not trusting God) gets in the way of me being a meek and gentle mama. I have a tendency to blow up over things that frankly just aren't worth it. Later I feel guilty. Fortunately that guilt is in part what drove me to make a change. Who wants to lie awake in bed at midnight feeling guilty about being a mean mama? Not me!
There are a million and one things pressing down on me right now. Okay, that might be an exaggeration but it certainly feels that way. Most of my yelling is my "stuff", not the kids. It's the internal junk I'm carrying around. I really have to deal with the pain in my heart and soul if I want to be sweet and patient. And, really...why should my kids pay for what someone else has done to hurt me?
Here's one other thing...when I skip my time in the word or when I don't take time to pray, the problems are worse. The more time I spend with the Lord the less I struggle. It's not a magic formula however the days I make time to pray and study God's word go so much smoother. The less time we spend with the Lord the more we will struggle with sin. It's a fact.
Hear ye, Hear ye...If I am going to get rid of this horrible habit and if I am going to be patient and kind and loving toward my family I must spend time with the Lord every single day. I. need. Him.
I heard somewhere recently (don't know where) "you can't steer a car by yelling at it". Please excuse me but I have to say this... DUH! I had a little light bulb moment right there.
Here's a list I jotted down. It's what's next for me. I've also got this No Yelling Jar idea that I will share with you next time.
- Pray. (By the way, I am praying for those of you who have indicated you are taking the challenge on with me. I haven't forgotten you!)
- Memorize Hebrews 12:1-11.
- Make certain time alone with the Lord is my top priority each day.
- Put some visual reminders around the house. (James 4:7, Romans 14:19)
As I write this I am remembering that anger is one letter different than danger. Any anger in the home is dangerous. There is nothing more damaging to your relationships with your children than anger. I'm purposing once again to not be angry and to stop yelling.
How are things going for you? Fill me in!