A little update...

Hello there.

It's been a little while.  

I was starting to wonder if I would ever make it back here.  

Right now only the dishwasher and I are awake.  I love the swish-swashing sounds of the dishwasher when everyone else is asleep.  I don't even notice the sounds the dishwasher makes during the daytime, but at night it's rather relaxing listening to the water and knowing the dishes are being cleaned.  

I really should go to sleep. 

So much has happened in the last few days.  As I look around right now I see more work than one old gal can do.  From my current vantage point I see a couple day's worth of work.  I'm falling behind rather hastily.  

Since I've brought you all into my personal world I want to take a few minutes to update you.  Over time this blog has morphed into something different (at least temporarily) and we are no longer just talking cozy homes here.  It's all related though, isn't it?  A home is only as cozy as one's heart is content.  My heart is currently undergoing some reconstruction.

First of all I want to thank you for praying.  The last few months have been a wild ride and as I was trying to hold on many of you called, texted, emailed, and left comments.  I cannot thank you enough for that.  Each day I received encouragement in some form or another and it just blew me away.  Some of you I've never met and yet we are sisters in Christ and because of Him you have reached out to me.  Thank you.  I've been encouraged greatly and many times just when I was losing my grip.  Your kindness has been amazing and to think you would read this little blog and care about us - it's incredible.  

My husband had surgery on Monday and is doing well.  It's been an ordeal.  (I will spare you the details.)  He's making his way back to normal.   Because his last surgery led to a pulmonary embolism we were very apprehensive this time.  I kept thinking about all the what ifs.  We all did.  We received confirmation yesterday through ultrasound that Jeff has no blood clot at this time.  We are very relieved and thankful.  

Nic sees the neurologist tomorrow and we are eager to hear from the doctor.  Nic is so much better than he was but he is still not 100 percent our Nic.  There have been small subtle changes that only those closest to him can see.  Sometimes those changes grab my heart and squeeze it tight with fear.  I want the old him back so bad.  God has reassured me time and time again that HE is in control and I can trust Him.  When we feel that no one understands, God reminds us, He does!

I mentioned already that the Lord has been doing some reconstruction in my heart.  I want to talk about that for just a minute.  I was thinking about the reconstruction process earlier and I was thinking about how messy the initial stages are.  When my sister's kitchen was revamped and made beautiful, the first few days were kind of ugly.  They ripped out cabinets and left old wallpaper and nail holes fully exposed.  There was a lot of trash and a lot of mess.  The whole kitchen was a wreck.  She draped plastic over the doorway but despite her best efforts dust made it into the other rooms.  

If you walked into her kitchen today you would see gorgeous new cabinets and countertops and floors.  Her walls are smooth and painted a lovely color.  The whole room is bright and beautiful.  It took making a big ole mess to get her kitchen to the place of beauty.  

So it is with our hearts.

When God starts working, things might get messy.  It may seem at first that a bigger mess is being made than you already had, and you wonder if it's worth it.  The day the work on my sister's kitchen began her house didn't look so bad.  Her rooms were tidy and her kitchen was clean.  The kitchen she has now, however, is so much more beautiful than what she had.  She couldn't go from outdated kitchen to beautiful kitchen without a mess.  We probably can't go through reconstruction of our hearts without a mess either.  We must remember the results are worth it.  

If God is hammering on your heart and doing some remodeling, do not fear the mess.  The end result of reconstruction will be a beautiful thing.  The work might be really getting in your way right now but just wait until you see what God will reveal.  Be patient.  The after picture will be a sight to behold!

I'm going through a remodel as we speak.  It's not pretty but I'm ready to go through the reconstruction to get to a place of beauty.  I've asked God for a heart that loves Him wholly.  

I would like to tell you more but this backache and headache and exhaustion have convinced me to wrap it up for tonight.  I will begin a new day as a mother/wife/nurse/teacher/cook/housekeeper/taxi driver in a few short hours. 

 I'm excited about what God's been teaching me and I look forward to chatting with you about that very soon.  Until then I have to decide if I'm going to sleep here in this recliner or make my way up the stairs to my bed.  My mind is saying go but my body is not responding.  My mind and body have been arguing a lot lately.  Goodnight!